by Carolyn Majoran

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. - 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

It came out of nowhere and I couldn’t stop it. My body was shaking. I couldn’t catch my breath. The tears were collecting in my eyes. I was so angry with myself for losing control. I hadn’t lost myself in such a way in over 15 years. I was having a panic attack.

My first panic attack occurred when I was 19 years old. I was snorkeling in the ocean and suddenly came upon a very black patch of water. I couldn’t see anything. I didn’t know how close to the ocean floor I was or what was swimming around me. Having always relied on my faith to get me out of nerve-wracking situations in the past, I prayed my way out of that panic attack and out of that black, murky water.

On some level, I have always acknowledged my struggle with anxiety. As a young child, I was very shy. I didn’t speak often in class and, as I got older, presenting in class was a painful experience for me. I did not want to be the center of attention. Just the thought of speaking to a large group of people made me nauseated. It’s safe to say, public speaking was not part of my gifting! The fact that I retained honour roll worthy grades was truly by the grace of God as He was the One I relied on to get me through the moments of discomfort.

My faith has always defined my life. At times I would push it into the background and try to blend in but, if my faith was ever questioned, my core values would shine through. There is not a moment in my life that hasn’t been covered by either my prayers or of those praying for me. I am well protected! Knowing this, succumbing to my anxieties never seemed to be an option. I have always been a mind over matter kind of person – or, rather, a faith over disbelief kind of person. I have firmly believed that there is no emotional or mental disorder that cannot be overcome by redirecting our thoughts to Christ. As Christ is quoted saying in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I have certainly looked upon struggling with anxiety or being a nervous person as a weakness.

But then, while preparing to leave for a trip on Jan 2, 2015, the second panic attack of my life occurred. It was the most severe feeling of anxiety that I have ever experienced. It seemed to never end. I simply could not get a handle of myself long enough to bring under control my out of control emotions. I could see myself falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it. This panic attack shocked me to my core. I am the type of person who prefers to be in control. I am a perfectionist. I like things done ‘just so’. As you can imagine, the expectations I put upon myself as well as (and probably more so) the expectations I perceive others put on me, have turned out to be a weight I can no longer bear. The years of controlling my personal hamster wheel that is always spinning and analyzing and condemning me for my weaknesses have had to come to an end. This anxious feeling that I was constantly feeling was now something I could no longer hide because unlike my first panic attack when I was alone in the ocean, this second one occurred in front of family. There was no escape. I could not pretend that I had a handle on the anxiety that seemed to creep into my life little by little until it overtook it.

Now, as a Christ-follower, how do I justify this with all that I know about Jesus in my life? I am a victor and a conqueror (Rom 8:37). I follow a King who has overcome the world (John 16:33)! I can do all through Him because He gives me strength (Phil 4:13)! Anxiety should have no hold on me. And yet, it does. Does this now diminish my faith? Does this diminish my testimony?

In the past, I would have simply told myself to suck it up or get over it. Yes, I have conversations with myself and I berate myself over the silliest of things. Did I mention I am a perfectionist?! To be honest, I still tell myself these things but I also cling to the verse that claims my Saviour is near to those who are crushed in spirit (Psa 34:18). Or the verse that tells me to give my cares to Christ because He cares for me (1Pet 5:7). My faith is not a fix-it-all-instantly kind of faith. Having my Saviour with me each day is sometimes all that gets me out of bed and out the door. I know that I am not alone.

So, does this diminish my faith or my testimony? Absolutely not. If anything, it causes it to grow. And while this is my trial to navigate through for the time being, it will not define me permanently. Does it define me now? In some ways, yes. I struggle to gain control of my anxieties and that is something I used to be able to do. Sometimes being around people, even in the smallest of numbers, is overwhelming to me. Situations that make me feel out of control are more frequent. In particular, traveling, which is the most debilitating anxiety I struggle with and the one that upsets me the most because I have always loved to travel. Now, before I leave the house, I have to mentally work myself up to get from point A to point B and then back again. I recognize how inconvenient this is for myself and for my family but we are adjusting to this new and, I’m praying, temporary norm.  

I think back to the faithfulness of God through past trials and while I certainly didn’t enjoy the struggle, I know He saw me through the dark times and brought me into the light once again. I work daily to let go of my desire to control and know that God is using this time to refine me into more of who He sees me to be.

In simply skimming my Facebook newsfeed or reading articles posted on news sites, I know that I am not alone in my struggle with anxiety. From one anxious person to another, let me encourage you to be strong in the Lord. He will not let go of you. Being refined can be a painful process, but the end result will be a God glorifying experience that will strengthen your testimony and point others to Him. Isn’t that what our lives are ultimately about? I pray others will see Christ in me – even in my anxiety – and desire to follow Him.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. - Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

by Ray Majoran

One of the reasons I enjoy photography so much is for the challenges it presents. On Tuesday, the challenges were aplenty.

We started Day 3 of our family vacation by visiting the Lincoln Park Zoo. My plan from a photography perspective was to travel light seeing that we would be coming back for a break before heading downtown.  But instead of coming back to rest and reload, we decided to keep trekking.

In planning out the day, I had originally hoped to shoot some elaborate panoramas. But as plans changed, it meant that the majority of my gear was still sitting back at the condo. I was left shooting in bright sunlight on a clear day with my Mark III and Canon 24-70 USM.  No tripod, no panoramic head, no polarizing filter, no ND filter, no 50mm and no 14mm wide angle. But as I said at the beginning of the post, one of the best parts about photography is the challenge that it presents.

I attempted to shoot a few 360-degree panos by hand, but as I found out when I got back to the condo, they didn't turn out as well as I would have liked. Knowing that the panos (without my tripod and panoramic head) were a long shot, I focused on what I did have to work with: a bright sun and an unbelievably reflective cityscape made of steel and glass.

During post-process, I elected to keep everything in black and white. I believe it tells a better story in the way that it compliments the city’s architecture.

Below are my results.

by Ray Majoran

As an avid photographer who loves shooting the aurora borealis (more commonly known in the northern hemisphere as the northern lights), I sometimes get asked for tips. Being in southwestern Ontario, I don’t have the advantage that many high-latitude sky watchers have, so when the northern lights are out, I want to make the most of it! To save everyone some time, I’ve compiled a summary of everything I’ve learned since I started shooting them back in 2001.

A couple of quick things before we get started:

1. I enjoy photographing the northern lights, but I am by no means an expert in this field. I’ll give you my two cents, but there are other people out there that shoot the northern lights for a living.
   
   
2. Part of the reason that I’m not as qualified at shooting the northern lights as others, is that I live at 42.9837° N in London, Ontario, Canada. This guide is created from the perspective of someone that doesn’t get the opportunity to see the lights on a regular basis.

Backstory

Back in October 2001, I became fascinated with the northern lights when my wife Carolyn and I were on a trip out west. We had seen the lights dancing in Alberta, but I was absolutely clueless on how to photograph them. On the plane ride back from Calgary (to London, Ontario), we watched the lights dance across the sky. It was an absolutely majestic night! (SpaceWeather.com still has photos in its archive from that October 2001 solar storm.)

When we got home from Alberta, all I wanted to do was photograph the northern lights. On November 5 (of that year), I got my chance! I went out with my Ricoh RDC-5000 8MB 2.3 megapixel digital camera and expected to capture something magical. Needless to say, I absolutely botched it.

From that point on, I made it one of my goals to become better prepared for the Northern Lights.

Understanding the Northern Lights

Capturing the northern lights has a lot to do with understanding them. Here is my best explanation based on the data I’ve acquired over the last 14 years:

Every 9 to 14 years, the sun goes through something called a solar cycle. A solar cycle is the ongoing (repeating) change in the sun’s activity and appearance (sunspots, solar flares, etc.). When the sun is at the peak of a solar cycle, it becomes very active. Our current solar cycle started in January of 2008, meaning that as of right now (March 2015) we are on the downswing of this solar cycle.  A more active sun means more active solar wind heading towards Earth, which essentially is the cause of the northern lights—a continuous flow of solar wind hitting Earth.

Earth’s magnetosphere, a region above Earth’s ionosphere, protects Earth from solar wind. (Note: If this region wasn’t there to protect us, we’d be in big trouble. There would be no upper atmosphere, no ozone layer and probably no humans. The solar wind would likely blow every ocean, lake and river dry.) Long story short, when the solar wind hits Earth’s magnetic fields, it’s diverted around the planet… but some of it makes it through, particularly around the north and south poles. The solar particles that make it through the atmosphere are called the aurora borealis and aurora australis (a.k.a. the northern and southern lights). 

The Best Time to See Them

As solar wind hits Earth, northern lights are formed. Northern lights are always occurring, but depending on location, daylight, cloudiness, moonlight conditions, etc., you might not actually see them.

One of the most common questions I get asked is, “What time should I go and see the northern lights?” The answer to that question is trickier than it sounds.  Ideally, the best opportunity to see the lights is around midnight, but that’s not always the case.

Here are a few factors that affect when the northern lights get brighter:

1. Magnetic Field Fluctuation: Sometimes Earth’s magnetic fields fluctuate in power. When they do, they can create “open doors” to let solar wind through more openly. It’s not very well understood, but in and around equinoxes (March 20 and September 23 in 2015), the chances to see the northern lights increase substantially.
   
   
2. CME’s (Coronal Mass Ejections): CME’s (explosions on the sun) send mass amounts of electromagnetic radiation into space. When one of these explosions is directed toward Earth, it causes a geomagnetic storm, sparking auroras.

On rare occasions when a powerful CME hits Earth AND the magnetic field is weakened, northern lights can be seen as far as Texas and even closer to the equator.

Increase Your Odds of Seeing the Lights

Photographers don’t just end up being in the middle of nowhere in the wee hours of the night. We have data! Here are five essential tools that I use to determine when the northern lights are going to hit. 

1. I get email alerts about 30 minutes in advance from AuroraWatch. You can sign up here. If you're south of Toronto (about 43.7°N), only ask for the Red Alerts. You won't see anything less. (Note: If you'd like to get a little more serious and pay for SMS alerts, SpaceWeather.com has a great service as well.)
   
   
2. I watch the real-time Aurora map from NOAA. If you're above the red view line, there's a good chance you'll see them.
   
   
3. I monitor the 3-hour Planetary K-index from NOAA... If it's above 6.3K AND it's past dark AND it's clear outside, there's a good chance you will see the northern lights.
   
   
4. I have an iPhone app from Aurora Forecast. It's very helpful.
   
   
5. I follow the Facebook feed from Aurora Alerts by Soft Serve News. They provide updates every 30 minutes as well (as to what the next 30 minutes be). Again, watch for 6.3K or higher. If you see something magical over 8.0K, get the kids out of bed and go for a drive.

One huge caveat to all of this is weather and moonlight conditions. If it’s completely overcast outside, ignore all of your alerts—it’s not going to matter since you won’t be able to see the northern lights. Additionally, if you find yourself in a lunar cycle where the moon is full (or close to it), viewing the lights may be severely obstructed.

Where to Go

Simply put, go where it’s dark. When I receive an alert (and I’m not sound asleep), I drive as far away from the city as I can. For high-latitude residents, this isn’t as much of an issue as sometimes the lights can literally be on top of you, but for people like me (who live further south), you’ll want to get as remote as possible.

Generally speaking, look north, but that’s not always the case. Solar wind can fluctuate at the drop of a dime so pay attention to east, west and right above you.

One thing that’s often overlooked (and I often end up scrambling with) is—try and pick an interesting spot beforehand. Drive around during daylight hours and look for interesting trees, farmhouses, etc. that would make a good foreground for the lights. If you’re thinking about walking into a field, make a visual note of obstacles, holes, etc.  Then, go back at night (on a non-northern lights night) to see if your intuitions were correct (i.e. there is no major light pollution, no angry barking farm dogs, etc.). Pictures with good foreground subjects (i.e. buildings, trees, water reflections, mountains, very still people, etc.) are always more interesting than shooting into a flat field.

How to Shoot Them

Every person’s gear is going to be different, but there are some common tips that I believe can prove valuable to everyone:

1. Prepare Well

I know it sounds silly, but you’d be surprised at the number of people who run out to shoot the northern lights in the winter time without a jacket. Plan accordingly! Pack warm clothes and make sure you have everything you need (charged batteries, cables, lenses, coffee, more coffee, etc.). It would be a shame to get out there, just to realize you missed capturing the best light show of your life because you weren’t prepared. (Also, use the restroom beforehand.) :)

2. Provide Stability

Shoot with a tripod, and if possible a remote shutter release. If you lack a remote shutter release, a quick trick that I’ve found is to set your camera timer (to ~2 seconds). That way you can press the shutter release button and move your hand away from the camera (not causing it to jiggle).

3. Choose the Right Settings

The key to capturing the northern lights is long-exposures. Essentially, you are letting light build on your camera sensor. Settings are critical. My general rules are as follows:

• Shoot as low an ISO as possible (ideally 100 – 400 ISO)
• Shoot as low an aperture as possible (ideally f/2.8 – f/4.0)
• Keep your shutter speed between 6-12 seconds. 

You will have to adjust according to light conditions.  If the auroras are brighter, you will be able to get away with a lower ISO. If they are weaker, you may have to increase your ISO to 800.  In my experience, anything higher than 800 and you’re going to start getting “fake stars” due to camera sensor noise.

The lower the shutter speed, the more you are going to see the lights dance in your photos (i.e. 8 second exposure). The higher the shutter speed, you will see more of a northern lights blur (i.e. 15-30 seconds). Note: Sometimes the blur effect can be cool as well and is the only viable option in a weakened geomagnetic storm. The following image is a good example of that...

Here are a couple of situational examples…

If the lights were powerful, I’d aim for the following settings:

• 100 - 400 ISO
• 6-8 second exposure
• f/2.8 - 4.0

If the lights were weak, I’d aim for the following settings:

• 400 - 800 ISO
• 8-16 second exposure
• f/2.8 - 4.0

If your lens isn’t capable of shooting as low as f/2.8, you may have to increase your ISO or exposure time to compensate for light.

Another thing you’ll want to consider is what format to shoot in. Personally, I like to shoot in RAW format so that I can process the photos later. Others prefer to shoot in JPEG format, which essentially means that your camera processes the photo for you. RAW format files give you more flexibility with tones, shadows, exposure, white balance, etc.

As far as camera bodies go, let me just say this: As it relates to shooting northern lights, your lens is far more important than your camera body. A low-priced Canon EOS Rebel or Nikon D3300 will take a phenomenal northern lights photo with the right lens and settings.

My personal setup when shooting the northern lights is as follows:

• Camera: Canon 5D Mark III
• Lens 1: Canon 24-70 f/2.8 USM
• Lens 2: Canon 14mm f/2.8 USM II
• Tripod: Manfrotto 496RC2
• Wireless Remote Shutter Release: Vello Wireless Shutterboss

If you’re looking to take video time lapses of the northern lights, the same rules apply. You will NOT be shooting a traditional video; instead you will be taking a series of photos in succession (on a tripod) and piecing them together afterwards. So imagine taking 500 eight-second photos and importing them into a video-editing suite afterwards to bring it all to life. Five hundred photos would equal a 21-second video (at 24 frames per second).  Some cameras have built in time lapse functionality, but for most, you’ll need to invest in a remote shutter release with time lapse capabilities.

There’s lots of software that can help you put together time lapsed videos. Simply Google, “video time lapse software” for more info.

4. Get Focussed

When you’re standing on a dirt road and it’s pitch black, one thing you’ll realize is that it’s tough to find focus. The last thing you’ll want to do is take a bunch of amazing pictures, just to get home and find out that they’re all blurry. So how do you find focus in the dark? I’ve often heard photographers say to set your lens to infinity focus, which is sort of true, but even that isn’t perfect (as many lenses don’t have accurate line markers for what infinity actually is).

The best way I’ve found is to locate a bright star in the sky (or a light on a farmhouse… or a light on a cell tower) and focus on that. Once my camera grabs focus, I immediately switch the lens from AF (auto-focus) to MF (manual focus). I don’t touch the lens again for the rest of the night (unless I feel that I’ve jarred it when I switch locations). Another (smarter) way to do this would be to find focus on a far off object in the daylight before your trip. Then switch to MF and don’t touch it. :)

5. Post-Process

After you’ve shot all your pictures, you’ll want to consider post-processing. If you were to talk with most professional photographers, this is the critical distinction between a good photo and a professional photo. Post-processing offers you the ability to make critical adjustments (i.e. brightness, contrast, white balance, etc.) to your photos. Personally, I use Adobe Lightroom. It’s worth its weight in gold.

And finally… 

6. Have Fun

Part of the experience in northern lights hunting is the adventure: the journey down dirt roads, hiking into a field, sharing the time with friends, etc. Don’t forget to realize the amazing thing that’s happening right in front of you. Take it in and enjoy it!

Final Thoughts

I hope this article has been helpful to you in your journey to capture the perfect northern lights photos. As I said at the beginning, I’ve still got a lot more to learn… but what I have learned, I’m happy to share with you! 

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To view some of my photos visit our homepage (and let it automatically scroll), follow me on Twitter or visit my 500px photography portfolio at life.majoran.com.

by Ray Majoran

On Monday evening, I posted the following photo on Facebook: 

I want to take a few minutes to explain this photo and why I posted it.

The photo is about perspective. 

Following the photo post, I received a number of reactions—everything from, “That’s amazing” to “What the heck?” to “That photo blew my mind” to “I finally figured it out, but why did you flip it upside down?” One friend was even gracious enough to suggest that it’s his favorite image of mine (but that’s subjective of course).

I literally sat on our couch staring at that image for about an hour before I posted it. My wife Carolyn can attest to that.  In its original landscape portrait, the snapshot is simply a pretty set of trees and snow reflecting onto a dark river (in Coldstream, Ontario).

But when you flip the image around, something sublime happens. Well, at least I think it’s sublime.

You’re left staring at the image trying to make sense of it. It’s not like a photo of a person, where you would immediately recognize the photo is upside down. It makes you do a double-take.

Here is what got me: the things that were once trees are no longer trees. They’re roots. Some of the roots are deep, while others are not. Inversely, on the top of the photo, there are trees. But because of the ripples in the water (or in this case, heavenly realm), the image of the trees is blurry.

From a biblical perspective, allow me to put this into context. The roots represent us, and the decisions we make on a daily basis. The trees on the other hand, represent everything we are sowing here on earth—being reaped by us in heaven. Although we can’t see heaven right now (as visualized by the blurriness of the upper portion of the image), one thing is very clear: the decisions we make here on earth have a direct relation to our life in heaven.

So many Christians I know are satisfied with just being saved. Don’t get me wrong... I’m stoked too! By the grace of God, we are saved. (Ephesians 2:8) We are hopeless without Christ. I agree! But I’m talking beyond that. As Christians, if that’s where we stop, we are robbing ourselves and we’re robbing God.

I mean, imagine if a professional athlete made the cut for his or her favorite sports team. Would they be satisfied with making the team, or would they actually want to make an impact?

Or what about a person who God gave some money and time to? Would they be satisfied that it was God that gave it to them? Or would they want to invest His money wisely? (Be careful how you answer that question.)

Jesus addresses this exact situation in The Parable of the Talents:

“For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ (Matthew 25:14-30, ESV) 

So many Christians will say to themselves, “Thank God I’m not the person who buried their talent.”

Maybe.

But let me ask you this.  If you know that what you invest in here on earth—in the limited time you have—has a direct impact on what your life will be like in heaven, shouldn’t that make a difference in the decisions you’re making right now?

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21, ESV) 

At our church we have a question that we ask each other from time to time: How are you using your MATEO? It simply means, “How are you using your Money, Abilities, Time, Energy and Opportunities?”

Are you using your money to increase your personal wealth? Or are you using your money to help others and to advance the gospel?

Are you using your time to sit on the couch? Or are you using your time to build into the things God has called you to?

These are all decisions that each one of us gets to make on a daily basis. It’s a privilege that God’s given us. Each and every decision has an impact.

The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. (2 Corinthians 9:6, ESV)

Live for the now or live for eternity. Something each of us must decide on our own.

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7, ESV)

by Carolyn Majoran

I have spent much of 2013 in financial reflection.  We began the year purchasing a new home and selling our old home.  Much of this was prompted by God leading me to read Francis Chan’s book, “Crazy Love”.  You can read our blog about it here if you missed it. Now that we’re settled into our new home and our new budget, I can’t help but think about the path that lead us to where we are today.

From the earliest days of our marriage, Ray and I have been on the receiving end of many blessings.  Neither one of us had to deal with student loans (Thanks Mom and Dad!).  Ray made good business decisions that lead us to be able to put a down payment on our first home. When we moved into our former home it was more than we needed but God brought people into our lives to fill it on many occasions.  There are countless blessings; more than I can detail here.

Unfortunately, a stigma comes attached to many material blessings.  At times it would even seem that there was an ‘us and them’ division.  There were many times that I heard the statement, “Must be nice to have…” about one thing or another in or around our home.  This brought on many years of struggling with shame over the material blessings that we had been given.  In all honesty, this shame also played a part in my excitement to leave our old, larger home behind and live in a smaller, more average setting.

Ray and I are the kind of people that place no significant value on ‘stuff’.  If we have something you need, just ask.  If you need a roof over your head, we have a guest room.  If you need food, come on over for dinner or let us take you out.  If you need to borrow a car, you can use one of ours. The parts of our home that create our home are not the things inside of it but the people inside of it.  My hope is that inside our home you will find people of character, followers of Christ.

I’m always astounded with the fact that North Americans, from the poorest to the wealthiest, are among the richest people in the world.  An interesting website that I’ve visited a number of times is www.globalrichlist.com.  On this site, you can view your annual income in comparison to the rest of the 7 billion people of the world.  It is very sobering to see where we fit in the grand scheme of things.  I’d venture to say that most of you reading this blog fit into the top 5% of income earners in the world. 

But are we content?

I have been part of and have listened to more conversations than I can count about the stuff of life.  So many times we focus on our last purchase or what we want our next purchase to be.  We focus on the deficiencies in our home and not the fixes we have already made.  We complain about the car that we have and dream of the car that we want.  Is there ever a time where we can sit in contentment and enjoy the fact that we have no need to be fulfilled?

2013 was that year for me.  To be able to move from a home that I loved and had dreamed about for years became a simple and quick decision.  God broke down all barriers and attachments to the four walls of that house and brought me into submission to His will for my life.  He removed any attachments to the things that made up my home. I hope and pray that the work He has begun in me will continue as He prepares me for the plans He has for me and my family.

As a young child I had a fascination with missionary work.  At one time in my life I thought God was calling me to a life of overseas missions.  I can’t say with certainty that He has removed that calling or not.  I do know that He has placed within me a heart for His people to hear the gospel in their own tongue so that all around the world knees will bow and proclaim the name of Christ as Lord.  If it’s not me going personally, I hope to be able to pass on much of what God has given to me to be able to help others go and fulfill God’s calling on their lives. My heart’s desire is not to spend my money or time on the temporal but on things with eternal significance.

We have been overwhelmingly and undeservedly blessed.  I don’t simply speak of material goods either. If tomorrow came and all we had was taken away from us, we would still be overwhelmingly and undeservedly blessed because we have Christ.  He is the only way to true contentment, true joy in our circumstances – regardless of what they might be.

Keys of Inspiration

 “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Phil 4:12-13

 “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”   Luke 12:48b

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

by Ray Majoran

Back in 2001 when Carolyn and I joined West London Alliance Church, we jumped "both feet in" to Junior High Ministry. Along our path, we came across two young kids -- Corey Seabrook and Colleen Rempel.

Over the last month, I had the opportunity to shoot their engagement and wedding photos. For those of you that know me, I don't usually shoot engagements or weddings, but I made the exception for Corey and Colleen. Below, you can see a few of my shots. I'll save the rest for them to post when they return from their honeymoon in Cuba.

Corey and Colleen, may the Lord bless you as you seek Him in your marriage.

by Ray Majoran

Back in January, Carolyn and I made the decision to move and downsize our home. As Carolyn noted in her 90-10 post, our primary goal is to put ourselves in a situation where we can give more.

Since her post, we have put our current house on the market and purchased a new home for considerably less than the one we’re living in now. But here’s the kicker: Even though we both felt called by the Lord to make this move, we haven’t been able to sell our house.

I mean, if the Lord calls you to do something, shouldn’t everything just fall into place? In all honesty, that’s what I thought would happen. If we’re obeying the Lord’s call in our lives, shouldn’t He just act accordingly?

Well, it turns out, He is.

Over the course of the last couple of months, Carolyn and I have found ourselves frustrated. And it’s not a frustration because we don’t believe our house will sell, because we do. And it’s not a frustration because we’re having second thoughts on what God’s called us to do, because we’re not.  On the contrary, we are more passionate than ever about God’s calling on our lives to “want less” and “want Him more”.

Quite simply, the frustration that we’re experiencing is because we’re not satistfied with how quickly (or slowly) this process is moving along.

The other day was a perfect example. We were notified by our real estate agent that someone had requested a showing. In response, we (mostly Carolyn) spent a considerable amount of time getting the house ready… cleaning all the floors and sinks, vacuuming, and so on. About an hour before the showing, our agent texted us and said that, “The people just took a drive up to Ilderton (our town) and felt that it was a little too far for them. Therefore they are cancelling.”

“Are you kidding me? Really? You couldn’t have taken a 7 minute drive up to Ilderton before booking the showing?” Those were the thoughts that penetrated my mind (and I’m sure Carolyn’s too).

Within minutes, the Lord brought Scripture to my mind… and not a “consoling Scripture verse” that’s often used in times of frustration or disappointment, but rather a very pointed event. The verse that He brought was when the Israelites were fleeing Egypt. Pharaoh had just released them, and upon doing so, changed his mind and went after them to bring destruction. 

As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!”

Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:10-14 

Be still. Trust. Wait.

We could have stayed in our current house forever – a beautiful 4+2 bedroom home, tons of space, a great community, great neighbors and a nice backyard. But the fact of the matter is, if we did, we would continue to be slaves to mortgage debt, lost opportunity, and most importantly, we would be ignoring the Spirit that has been calling us to do this for a long time.

James 4:17 says, “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” And for us, to stay here and ignore the call that God has placed on each of our lives would have been sin. (Read my post, “A Conversation with Wisdom”, for more on the “mortgage debt” comment.)

Francis Chan says it perfectly: “God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.”

If we fall flat on our face because we chose to obey God, I can live with that. If we fall flat on our face because we ignored His calling, I can’t live with that.

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15) 

God made the Israelites march around the walls of Jericho seven times (Joshua 6). He could have just taken the walls down. He waited until the very last days to give Sarah a child (Genesis 21). He could have given Isaac to her in her youth. He made David wait 15 years to become king of Israel (2 Sam. 5). He could have just crowned David when Samuel anointed him (1 Sam. 16). 

Of three things I am sure:

1. His timing is perfect.
2. This period of waiting is purposeful.
3. Our house will sell when He wants it to sell.

In Him, we put our trust. 

by Carolyn Majoran

About a month ago, I was at a Christmas service at my parents’ church where we were asked to write our name on a piece of paper as well as something we wanted to pray about for the new year.  Once writing these items on the paper, we were asked to join them with our neighbours and create a chain link of requests.  The word floating around in my head for something I would be praying for was “trust”.  Now, I really liked the suggestions that were given of family or even health – something more surface than deep.  But, I kept coming back to trust.  Feeling vulnerable, I wrote “trust” on my link and chained it to the rest of my row all the while hoping no one would read my name and connect my request with me.

I’m sure there are many who can testify along with me that when you begin to pray for something like patience, joy, trust, etc., your request does not go unnoticed.  In fact, you usually get tested in such areas to grow that trait.  And so, my current life story begins from this little request that God help me grow my trust in Him.

In a desire to read a good book over the holidays, I got out my iPad and checked my Kindle app to see if I had any more books left unread.  There was only one.  The one that I knew was unread but I hadn’t ever been very interested in reading.  Not that I knew anything about it, but I wanted to read a no-brainer novel.  Instead, the only book left to read that I had downloaded was “Crazy Love”, by Francis Chan.  Somewhat reluctantly, but willing to read at least one chapter, I opened this book and began to read.

From the very first pages of “Crazy Love” I felt a kinship with Francis Chan.  So many of his thoughts had been my thoughts.  He was speaking my heart right there on the (electronic) pages of his book!  Convictions I had felt in the past but pushed to the back of my mind began to resurface.  Ideas began to form in my heart that I could no longer ignore.  God had been telling me for years in many different ways He had a change coming for my family and suddenly, I was ready.

For the past 2-3 years, Ray and I have flippantly tossed the idea around of downsizing our home (a concept Chan speaks of frequently in “Crazy Love”).  Once we came to the decision that Adalai would be our only child (unless God so chooses to change our minds again!), I began to feel that the home we had been so blessed to build was way too big for our little family of three.  At first, my discontent was pacified by purging stuff occasionally.  I would go through our closets and Adalai’s toys and bring bags and bags to the second hand store or downtown mission.  But, then I’d return home and that claustrophobic feeling would return.  Our home is nearly 4000 sq ft… how could I feel claustrophobic?!

And so, the discontent with having so much continued to grow.  I don’t say this to negate the blessing that God gave us in our home or the things we have been able to own. We have and continue to be undeservingly blessed! I believe this discontent I’ve been feeling has been from God.  He has had a plan all along to move us along in this life but I needed the push out of my comfort zone and into where He wants me.

This past year has definitely been one of growth.  12 months ago, I was very attached my home.  I would never have dreamed of leaving our town and especially never our neighbours.  We have been so blessed with the lovely neighbours God placed beside us.  We have a relationship with them that I believe will extend beyond proximity.  But, we knew that at some point, God was calling us to move.  I recall thinking, “Well, as long as it’s within our community.” and, “I’ll downsize as long as I can still have an ensuite bath.”  I know it’s ridiculous, but it was a luxury I had gotten used to!

While reading “Crazy Love”, God broke down the final few strongholds I had stopping me from being completely open to moving wherever He wanted us to be. I knew I could live in less space and be content - rather, joyful. I knew I could live in a home where I had to share a bathroom with everyone else living in it.  It didn’t matter anymore.  I was ready to let go of my house and go where God wanted my family to be.

Earlier this month, Ray and I chatted about how I was feeling during and after reading “Crazy Love”.  He had read it in the past and, apparently, had simply been waiting for me to jump on board.  This conversation occurred on a Friday night.  By Sunday we had connected with a realtor to simply ask about the real estate market for this spring.  On that Monday we started to look at homes on the market and by Friday we had purchased our new home.  It was a whirlwind of a week!

Our main goal in downsizing our home and leaving our current community is to be able to live on less so that we can give more.  Ray and I have always shared the mindset of a 10% tithe not being enough to give back to God of all He has blessed us with.  Years ago, we heard a story about a businessman that recognized how much God had blessed him with and instead of giving just a 10% tithe, he gave away 90% of what he made and only kept 10% for himself.  That idea has stuck with me for more than a decade.  I would love to be able to do such a thing!  We don’t need to have a large home to be happy.  We don’t even need to have great neighbours (but I’d appreciate the next ones being nice as well!). We don’t need to own the best of the best or the newest of the newest whatever on the market.  Life is not about what we have!  We will be judged on what we have done with all we have been given.

And so, the next couple of months will be busy but full of hope… and trust.  I’m trusting God to bring buyers to our current home so we can move to our new one sometime in March or April.  I’m trusting, and feel confirmation, that we are listening to and being obedient to what God wants us to do at this time in our lives.  There are many personal and financial benefits for making such a move but we are more interested in knowing that we are following God’s leading in this move.  We want to be able to give back to Him more of what He has blessed us with.  Maybe, someday, our own story will be one in which we can say we’re only living on 10% and giving the rest back to the One who gave it to us in the first place.  What a blessing that would be!

Keys of Inspiration

Chris Tomlin – Lay Me Down  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pkWrvCZDHA

Psalm 28:7

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

by Carolyn Majoran

From my earliest memories, I have felt special. My parents made me feel wanted and loved. My two older brothers always called me special… but I have a feeling they meant it in a different way than what I felt! My faith made me feel part of something bigger than myself. When I pledged my life to Christ at the age of 5, I began to understand the adoptive relationship between God and myself. How could I not feel special being chosen by the One and Only God?! He picked me to be one of His children. He called me to follow Him. He set me apart. He made me special. This faith that I have clung to from childhood initiated grand ideas and dreams of where I could see my life heading. I didn’t know specifically what I had been saved for, but I was confident there was a purpose. In my mind’s eye, I was going to do great things through Christ.

I recall being the young age of 9 and visiting with a friend at her dad’s workplace, which happened to be the local jailhouse. We were goofing around in his office while he was checking on the inmates, when I began to choke on a gobstopper candy. I don’t have any way of telling how long I was without breath but I can still feel the fear of not being able to help myself. My friend didn’t know how to stop someone from choking so she just slapped me on the back repetitively. I distinctly remember silently calling out the words, “God, please help me!”. It was at the moment I requested His help that the candy became dislodged and I could breathe again. This remains such a vivid memory that even now, 26 years later, I can recall each second of this traumatic event.

As fearful as choking may have been for me as a 9 year old, I think it helped to instill the idea in my heart that God truly has a plan for my life. It’s probably why Jeremiah 29:11 became a favourite verse of mine throughout my teen years. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

As a teen, my heart was turned towards mission work. I had a couple of opportunities to travel the world by myself, as well as with a group, to see God at work in places from remote tribal regions of Papua New Guinea to the unrest in the streets of Belfast. I am forever grateful for the exposure to other cultures and people groups. God is at work all over the world. I was blessed that He was able to use me for the few months that I served overseas. I came back to Canada from these trips determined that God was calling me to serve Him somehow through missions. Could this have been what I was saved for?

Fast forwarding to today, I can tell you that there are so many more instances in my life that I felt saved from a tragic end. Recently I was driving on a fairly high speed roadway in London and I had Adalai in the car with me. I was stuck in the slow lane and wanted to pass the person in front of me. Suddenly, my car started to smell like it was smoking. I slowed down and tried to figure out what might be wrong with my car. A few seconds later, the truck in the fast lane that I would have been behind, lost the large metal sheet it had been carrying. If I had moved from the slow lane, that metal sheet would have been in my windshield. After seeing the metal sheet go flying and I passed safely in the slow lane, my car stopped smelling smoky. I completely believe that God saved my life and the life of my child that day.

I look at these instances of saving grace and see God’s not so subtle reminder that He loves me and does have a greater purpose set aside for me. It may not be those ideas of grandeur that I had a as a teen where I was going to go out into the jungle and show people the love of Christ. It probably won’t be me standing on any stage and belting out songs (you can thank me later) or preaching God’s Word. It may not be any of these dreams, but I would be remiss to say definitively God can’t use me in such ways. He is fully capable to making me into the person of the various dreams I had as a younger person but I am open to the dreams He has set upon my heart for today. God has helped refine my dreams to be more realistic to me at this phase of my life.

I do believe that I am right where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. There are many people who spend so much time seeking out God’s will for their lives that I wonder if they miss that they might already living in it. Maybe I’m not the only one that had ideas of grandeur for life that are not being lived out right now?

For example, I always felt called to be a mother. God made that possible through our adoption of Adalai. I also thought that meant I was called to be a stay-at-home mom. Having the ability to stay at home with your child is a blessing. Many do not have such luxuries. I thought it would be lovely to stay home with Adalai until she was school aged. I have stayed home with her much of the time but, in all honesty, those were some of the most difficult times for me. It’s not that I don’t love my child or want to be a great role model for her, but I needed more. I found those years to be interspersed with challenges, moments of depression, as well as all the nurturing and joy-filled moments of being a parent. As much as I believe I am not a social person, I now know I need some kind of outlet outside of mothering my child.

As I look back on the past few rollercoaster years, I can see that I have indeed been right where God wants me to be. He knows the lessons that I need to learn or re-learn on a daily basis. It was completely His timing and His will that Adalai became part of our family when she did. He enabled me to be able to stay home with her throughout her first years of development and has guided us to the school that she now attends. I’m sure I have had many moments in which I have disappointed Him. So many opportunities that He gave me to succeed and I passed them on by in my grumbling and discontent. I can see His attempt at working in my life and me keeping at my own pace, doing my own thing. But, in all of this, I have being learning. Sometimes retrospectively, but learning nonetheless.

I can’t imagine that I am the only one to feel saved for ‘something’. Maybe the ideas of grandeur that you have are indeed placed in your heart by God and He will bring them to fruition in His timing. I guess that’s the hard part – waiting for it to happen! Maybe, like me, you’re knee-deep in family life and wondering what God’s will for your life is for this time. May I suggest that you might just be right where He wants you? It might not be glamourous changing diapers, or cleaning up messes, or dealing with a tantruming toddler but God is still teaching you the necessary lessons you need to learn to be able to do what He has planned next for you. Maybe you’re suddenly single again, or unemployed, or mourning. God can use you and teach you in those moments. Be teachable. Be mouldable. He does have a plan for each of us and will bring it about in His good time!

I may not know what God has in store for me beyond today but I rest in the fact that He knows. He has brought me through each day of my life thus far and will continue to do so until He calls me Home. Who knows? Maybe He will re-ignite the dream of doing overseas mission work (rather than just helping to fund it!) and in the future I’ll be blogging from some far off country?! May my heart and yours be ever open to Christ and teachable by our Father to bring about His glory and recognition throughout the nations.

Keys of Inspiration

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (ESV)

My cousins Jenna & Justin Dodson – Heading to Ivory Coast next year! So excited to be praying for and supporting them on their way. Check out their ministry here: http://dodsonsinafrica.wordpress.com.

by Ray Majoran

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of sitting in a photography workshop at our church that featured guest speaker, Alyssa Bistonath.

As part of the workshop, we were asked to go out into the city of London to capture the word, "Community". I had been thinking of ideas for a few days and nothing was really striking me.

Following the formal session, about 40 of us broke up into groups and scattered to areas throughout the city. I joined up with a group that went downtown to Victoria Park, still not really feeling that I had 'purpose' yet (which is never good when it comes to photography… or anything in life, for that matter).

The question had been asked before we departed, "How do you define the word 'community' in the context of what we're trying to capture? Is it the buildings, the people, the art, the history… and so on?" Obviously this question was left open to interpretation, knowing that it's 'all of the above'.

Upon arriving downtown, I took a few pictures of the city.

I also randomly ran into Mark Morrison and Christine Parfitt ...

... And took the opportunity to chat with a man sleeping on a park bench.

Still, feeling that I needed to capture more than just cityscape and homeless people, I told Moses and the team that I would catch up with them later.

I then hopped into my car and started driving, not really knowing where the Lord would take me. I drove around for about 10 minutes and then decided to head west on Riverside Blvd.

I passed by a cemetery that I drive by on a weekly basis. Immediately, I pulled over knowing that I had found the place that I'd be documenting on this day.

No one really thinks of a cemetery when it comes to defining the word 'community', but I quickly came to realize that it should be on the forefront of our minds. Nowhere else in the city will you find such a diverse group of people, history, culture, art, architecture and wisdom.

(General note to reader: I've been told that when babies are born, they can't see anything in color; as such, I've taken a similar approach to death – the remainder of my photos are in black and white.)

As I entered the cemetery, the first things that caught my eye were the unmarked tombstones on my right. These are the stones that people pick for themselves (or for a loved one) while planning for / dealing with death.

As I snapped my first couple of pictures, my portrait eerily reflected in the tombstone; a subtle reminder that time on this earth is short and that one day, I would enter into this community… date and time unknown (to me).

The first signage upon entering the cemetery notes, "Caution, Two-Way Traffic". To the ordinary person, this simply means horizontal traffic – cars going in both directions. But for me, this was a clear indication of vertical traffic – Heaven and Hell.

By this point, I was very aware of the spiritual realm that I had entered, and found myself in continuous prayer.

The first tombstone I approached read,

"The flesh shall slumber in the ground
Till the last trumpet's joyful sound
Then burst the chains with sweet surprise
And in the Saviour's image rise."

There is so much wisdom here. So much that needs to be said; so much that needs to be heard.

And although most people would come here to deal with death ...

... I saw life.

I spent a good chunk of my time walking around the cemetery and reading tombstones; visiting the community that once lived and still has so much to say. I also found myself praying for my friends and family who don't know the Lord. I would say that the average age on the tombstones that I visited was around 50 years old; many older, many younger.

The following photos are a mere glimpse of the community that I visited on May 12. I hope to meet many of these people one day in Heaven!

As I was preparing to wrap up my time at the cemetery, I came across a tombstone that read, "Guest".

Of course, "Guest" referred to a last name, but it reminded me of the fact that we are the Lord's guests on this earth and eternity awaits us.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor. 4:18

And then it all came full circle. As I was driving in my car (about to leave), a sign across the street from the cemetery caught my attention. The last word in the sign read "Community".

It was at that moment that I realized that the community I was currently visiting (in the cemetery) once lived in communities like the one I was looking at across the street. And in a matter of days, months or years, that community would begin to become a part of this community. My friends, my family, my co-workers, myself, everyone I meet... would soon enter the community of two-way traffic.

With this in mind, three questions come to the surface:

1. Why is it that we think we have so much time left to deal with things that are currently undone?

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." – Matthew 6:14-15

"And Jesus came and said to them, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.'" – Matthew 28:18-20

"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'" – John 14:6

2. Why do we waste our time and resources on inconsequential things?

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." – Ephesians 5:15-17

3. If someone you know were to die today, would you have any regrets about something you said or didn't say to them?

"... You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." – James 4:14

This is my new bench, located at the corner of Riverside and Beaverbrook in Mt. Pleasant Cemetery. Well, not "my" new bench per se, but mine to sit on (and reflect), when it's not otherwise occupied.

This bench will serve as a reminder to me that time is short and eternity awaits.

May God use me for His glory while I'm still a part of the living community.

by Carolyn Majoran

On January 11th, my dad was diagnosed with an intermediate grade prostate cancer.  There is nothing like hearing a parent has cancer to bring out your inner child.  I know that my dad is no longer the sole provider to ensure my well-being. He is no longer the head of my household.  But, there is something about fathers (hopefully not just mine) that brings a sense of protection that does not dissipate over time.

As a child, many of us looked to our dads as near superheroes.  In our immature minds, Dad can do almost anything!  He can fix things that need fixing. He can solve any problem that we encounter. Dad becomes like Superman to us.

How often do we put a human replacement where Christ belongs? My daughter, Adalai, listens to a song called “Superhero” on one of her Hillsongs Kids CDs.  The lyrics share that Jesus is our superhero.  He is the only true one who can save us and help us through the tough times in our lives.  The way I perceived my dad when I was a child is the way I should see Christ now.  He holds my dad and this entire cancer journey in His hands.

Upon learning the news of Dad’s diagnosis, I didn’t feel anything.  Maybe I was in shock? Retained deep inside this daughter’s heart is a sense that my dad can still do anything because he has been such a strong figure in my life of Godliness, security and health.  As for my response, I am hoping that rather than shock, I was experiencing the peace that passes understanding – straight from God.  Leading up to Dad’s diagnosis appointment, we had many friends and family members joining us in prayer. I am firmly convinced that God took away the shock that hearing the word “cancer” can bring and placed His peace in our hearts instead.

In troubled times like these, most of us tend to ask “Why?” or “Why me?”.  I know when I have gone through trials in my own life, my first response is to question why this terrible thing is happening to me.  I know not to expect a carefree journey through this life but I’m regularly surprised when the rough patches come along.

Through personal trials (and now through Dad’s cancer journey), I have become convinced that there is always a reason for why we are going through the tests or trials that come upon our path.  I believe as a Christ-follower, the reason is two-fold. Firstly, God will bring glory to Himself.  Through the wonderful and easy times in our lives it is very easy to praise our God.  But, in the darker times, it’s harder to see Him there with us.  Praising Him despite our hardships becomes a more glorious statement of our faith to those who may not know Christ and even be an encouragement to those who do. And Scripture says that if we don’t praise Him, the rocks will.  He will be glorified. Secondly, God wants us to be more Christ-like.  Tests and trials are part of our walk with God.  He uses them to bring about Christ-like qualities in us. He refines us into the person He desires us to be.

I’m sure we all can think of a trial that we have had to endure in our lives. For my Dad, his current trial is cancer. For myself, it was years of struggling with infertility. How wonderful that we don’t have to walk through these times alone.  We have a God that wants to walk beside us, to carry us when we no longer can go on by ourselves.  He is a God of hope.  We do not need to suffer alone.  Too many of us try to carry our burdens alone when we don’t have to.  Let the God of hope share the load. Being refined to become more Christ-like may not always be the easy path but it will be the most rewarding.    

So, with any trial, we take life one day at a time, trusting God to be our Healer, Provision, Rest, and ultimately our Saviour.  While a cancer diagnosis can bring about fear in our lives, I am choosing to hope. While an infertility diagnosis can bring about anger and helplessness, I am choosing to be refined.  God will bring about His will throughout our trials.

As I’m posting this blog in the early morning hours of April 16th, my dad is being prepped for an 8 am surgery to remove his cancerous prostate.  We are trusting God to control the hands of the surgeon, to bring about a swift recovery and few lasting effects. We know He is fully capable! We covet your prayers at this time to get Dad through the four hour surgery and the following months of recovery.

My hope in writing this blog was to be an encouragement to anyone who has been or is going through a test or trial in their lives.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  God is faithful to bring us through.  You will be changed because of it! In the end, I hope you can join me in saying that it was all worth it.  To Him be the honour and glory forever!

Keys of Inspiration:

Aaron Shust - Watch the My Hope is in You video

Philippians 4:7: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:7: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Isaiah 48:10: See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

by Carolyn Majoran

Quite a while ago, Ray and I watched the movie Facing The Giants. It was a feel-good, fairly well produced Christian movie that basically showed that through prayer and spending time fostering a relationship with Christ you can receive all that you've asked for. If you've seen this movie then you know (*SPOILER ALERT*) that the infertile couple miraculously get pregnant and his football team wins the big game. Warm fuzzies, right? Not for me.

If you know anything about us, you know that Ray and I struggled with infertility for many years. We prayed for a child continuously. We shared our pain with friends and family so that they could pray with us. It seemed that God was not answering our prayers. Instead, I was left reeling from what felt like a complete betrayal from the relationship that meant the most to me outside of my relationship with my husband. If prayer and working at a relationship with Christ was all that would have brought a child into my life, I would have been pregnant.

My biggest issue with this movie is the message it sends to those watching – God will give you what you ask for, as you've asked for it. That is not always the case. In His great wisdom, God withheld a biological child from us because He knew that He had a greater gift to give us. While the road was painful for many years, when we were lead to adopt, God placed Adalai into our lives more quickly than we ever anticipated! She is our miracle child regardless of her being carried in another mother's womb. She is the child God intended for us.

My firm belief, after years spent pleading with God to give me my heart's desire in the way I wanted it to be fulfilled, is that our prayers need to be rightly focused. If what I am asking for is not in God's plan for my life, it won't matter how many times I request it. Through my struggle with infertility, I learned to pray for what was God's will for me. And beyond that, if my heart's desire was not His desire for me then I needed Him to remove it from me.

This simple change in how I approached God in my request changed me completely. After 5 years of praying about our infertility, God certainly knew what I'd be asking for. But, I began pleading for His will to be done even though it may not be my will. I began pleading for Him to remove the desire to have a biological child if He did not intend for me to be pregnant. It was not an instant miracle but it did happen. About 7 months before we adopted our daughter I felt a significant change within me. I was finally at peace with never having biological children. I was ready to accept whatever God had in store for us. God had changed my heart to be more like His in preparation for the wonderful gift He had planned for us.

As for what the movie portrays, I'm not saying God doesn't answer people's prayer in the exact manner they ask. He certainly does! He's an all-powerful God and can do great and mighty deeds! I would simply ask you to consider the times that you may feel God is not answering your prayers or maybe giving a "not yet" answer. These are the times when you need to lean on Him and truly seek His will for your circumstance. It may take years – believe me, I know! But the reward is worth the wait.

Keys of Inspiration:

Matthew 6:5-14 (key verse 6:10): "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

Matthew 26:39: "...nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will."

Nicole C. Mullen - Watch the Kingdom Come video

by Ray Majoran (inspired by Proverbs 8)

As I draw close to the city, I see a bright light ahead. Some of my friends from church are with me; they see it too. At the highest point along the way, beside the gate leading into the city where the paths meet, a lady has taken her stand. As we approach to enter, she cries aloud:

"To you, O people, I call out; I raise my voice to all mankind. You who are simple, gain prudence; you who are foolish, set your hearts on it. Listen, for I have trustworthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right."¹

She has caught my attention; I stop to hear what she has to say. I tell my friends that I'll catch up with them shortly.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"My name is Wisdom", she responds. "The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works, before His deeds of old; I was formed long ages ago, at the very beginning, when the world came to be. When there were no watery depths, I was given birth, when there were no springs overflowing with water; before the mountains were settled in place, before the hills, I was given birth, before he made the world or its fields or any of the dust of the earth."²

Lost for words, I respond, "I don't know what to say. I've prayed to the Lord for you many times. I can't believe I'm finally meeting you in person. I follow Jesus, as do many of my friends and family."

"I know who you are", she replies. "The Lord has told me all about you."

"Really? Good things to say, I hope?"

"Good?" she responds. "Only God is good."³

Embarrassed, I utter, "I know... Luke 18:19... I just meant that..."

"I know what you meant", she replies.

"I'd love to hear what you have to say. Do you have any words of Wisdom for me today before I head into the city?" I ask.

"Ah yes... words. You like words, don't you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty"⁴, she replies.

"But I do work hard! And I'm a huge advocate of freeing people from poverty."

"That's not what I'm talking about", she answers. "You told me that you were a follower of Jesus. Was I mistaken?"

"No, of course not. I love the Lord with all my heart, soul, body and mind."

"A worthy cause; I commend you. But I can assure you that you don't. To do so would require unconditional love. I fear that you are being consumed by my sister, Folly."

"I can assure you, I'm not!" I note promptly.

"You can assure Wisdom, can you? I will show you the truth before you leave here today."

Humbly, I bring my tone down a level, knowing that I've crossed the line. Surely, I have stepped into a conversation that I cannot win. A passage of scripture runs through my head, "Do not forsake Wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you."⁵

"I'm sorry. I meant no disrespect. What did you mean by the 'mere talk' comment?"

"That's okay... it takes a lot more than that to offend me. As for my comment: You and your friends do a lot of talking about how you're going to reach the community and reach the nations for Christ, but the fruit on the tree shows otherwise."

"We're in tree planting mode", I say jokingly. Wisdom is not amused.

"It's not your tree to plant, only to water", she replies. "The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."⁶

"You know I don't want that!" I reply. "What do I need to be doing differently?"

"Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with me."⁷ "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death."⁸

I glance toward the city. "Are you suggesting that I shouldn't go into the city?"

"What are you going in there for?" Wisdom asks.

"I'm heading to the department store. There's a new..." I pause, realizing where Wisdom is going with this.

"A new what?" Wisdom asks.

"Does it really matter?" I reply.

"I don't know, you tell me. Does it?"

"Oh come on... I know where you're going with this, Wisdom. But seriously, we live in a society where this is the norm. I'm not going out and spending beyond my means."

"What are your means?"

"I have a good job that pays a decent wage."

"And you feel that the Lord has given you this money so that you can go out and waste it?"

"Waste it? No of course not!" I reply. "We give our tithe to the Lord and even try and give more. I think it's okay every once in awhile to spend a little something on yourself."

"Folly", Wisdom responds. "You have been seduced by her and you don't even know it. 'In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has.'⁹ And let me guess, you have a mortgage on your house among other debts..."

"Yes, pretty much everyone does though. I mean, come on... there's no way you can live even remotely comfortably in this society without having debt."

"The borrower is a slave to the lender"¹⁰, Wisdom replies. "And who said anything about being remotely comfortable? Jesus sure didn't."

Shaking my head in disbelief, I respond, "If that's Folly, then pretty much everyone I know has been seduced by her."

Wisdom looks at me and tears begin to form in her eyes.

"I know", she replies. "God wrote it all down in the Bible and handed it right to you. Everything you need is right there... in plain sight... so clearly outlined word-by-word. And the Holy Spirit has been given to you so that you'll know what is right and just in the eyes of God. But Folly has gotten the best of you, and not just you but many of you. Your generation chooses to be selective with what you want to hear and Folly is having her way with you. 'O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you?'"¹¹

Wisdom then begins to quote more Scripture:

"Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14

"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16:49

"Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys." Luke 12:33

"Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" Matthew 28:19

She then asks me, "How will you become wise when you walk with Folly? How will you enter the narrow gate when you've built your house on the wide road? How will you aid the poor and needy when you consume all that you have? And how will you make disciples of all nations when you're too busy being entertained?"

At that point I feel that Wisdom has given me enough to think about for one day. My friends call me from the side of the road by the gate: "We need to get going soon; the store will close in less than an hour, and some of us still need to get to the bank to pay our car and mortgage payments."

I wish Wisdom a good day and tell her that I'll be back in a few weeks to hear more of what she has to say.

"I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me"¹², she replies. "Beware of my sister, Folly. She will surely consume you if you let her."

I leave the gate with my friends and continue down the road. A couple of minutes later, a loud, seductive voice yells out, "Let all who are simple come in here! Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!"¹³ Folly has come out to greet us. Little do we know that the dead are there, that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead.¹⁴ I begin to pray for wisdom¹⁵. I pray it's not too late.

Verses referenced from:

1. Proverbs 8:4-6
2. Proverbs 8:22-26
3. Luke 18:19
4. Proverbs 14:23
5. Proverbs 4:6
6. Matthew 3:10
7. Proverbs 8:10
8. Proverbs 14:12
9. Proverbs 21:20
10. Proverbs 22:7
11. Matthew 17:17
12. Proverbs 8:17
13. Proverbs 9:16-17
14. Proverbs 9:18
15. James 1:5

(Some verses have been slightly altered to be grammatically correct within the context of a conversation.)

A Poem by Carolyn Majoran (August, 2007)

Welcome to our world,
my dearest little one.
Your life lies just ahead of you,
your journey has now begun.

May your days be filled with laughter,
your life so full of cheer.
May your sorrows be few and far apart,
but know you will shed some tears.

May you always have someone to turn to,
a friend and a confidant.
May you have everything that you need,
but not all of what you want.

May you come to know our Saviour,
as your personal Lord and King.
May you realize your potential,
through all that He may bring.

May you find your hope in the eternal,
and not in temporal delight.
May you look to Jesus for strength,
when you can't survive on your own might.

May you always know that you are loved,
by many people near and far.
May those who come to know you,
see just how special that you are!

by Ray Majoran

Well, let us just start off by saying – this has been a long time coming. Over the years, we’ve always wanted to do something like this, but the reality is that life gets in the way, and we all know how easy it is to make excuses. So let us just set the tone of why we’re doing this, and what you can expect / not expect from this site.

WHY WE’RE DOING THIS

1. Because God has done way too many things in the lives of Carolyn and I, for us not to share them. If you’ve known us for any length of time, you’ve probably heard stories. But both Carolyn and I are quite sure that there are many things that you haven’t heard (simply because there are too many)… stories of our adoption process, miracles, hard times, amazing times, crazy situations, etc… all of which we’d like to document and share.
2. Because situations come up on a regular basis that we’d love to journal about.  So many times we “mean to write things down”, but then forget to do it. Therefore, this site will act sort of like a time capsule so that we can reflect on it in years to come.
3. To reiterate the opening message on the front page of this site: “Our prayer for each of you is that God would reveal Himself to you in ways that go beyond our understanding (Isaiah 55:8), and that you would live your lives in such a way that would glorify and honor Him.”

WHAT TO EXPECT

1. Journals by Ray
2. Poetry and writing by Carolyn
3. Photos

WHAT NOT TO EXPECT

1. Beating around the bush. (We will be open, honest and sincere.)
2. Commenting. (This is not a social media site where you get to cheer us on, or blast us if you don’t like our opinions. Pretend you’re reading a book and simply reflect on the words. Not that we don’t care about your opinions and expressions of encouragement, but we also want to do this without seeking exaltation. We merely seek to honor God and the lives He has given us; see 1 Corinthians 1:30–31.)
3. Daily updates. (This is not a site that we plan on updating daily. We would suggest that you stop by once a month or so to catch up. If you’re on Facebook, we’ll post a notification when we make a new entry, but that will be the extent of it.)

That’s all for now; we appreciate you stopping by.